Lets talk ugly.

This week was one of those weeks. I am pretty sure my team, my friends, my family and any stranger who came in contact with me thought I was a mad woman. Mainly because one second I was laughing and then in the blink of an eye I was screaming, crying or having a complete mental breakdown.

Luckily, I have some pretty amazing people in my life who know my heart and give me an immense amount of grace. Well besides the stranger on the street, he just thinks I am a crazy white woman who needs some couch time with a really good therapist. (And who knows, maybe that might be actually good for me.)

Today though, I don’t want to talk about the crazy that embodies my soul every now and then. I want to talk about the crazy that involves all things entrepreneurship. I want to talk about the bad and the ugly.

We tend to shine light on all things good. We pay attention to the successful founders and their rising star company. We look at crushing sales numbers or sustainability stats. We praise, worship and aspire to be something like these one of a kind entrepreneurs.

But what about the journey? And what about the process? And has anyone asked “these entrepreneurs” now about their bad days because I am sure they still come just as often as the good.

Whether you are on an entrepreneurial journey or not, we are all in process. And we need to acknowledge that.

This week was ugly. It was hard. There were moments that were unbearable. And guess what? It spilt over and my team got to see all of it.

This week was not filled with my best moments, but it was real and raw. When you wake up every day pursuing something your passionate about, you fight. When you know you have 63 artisans and their families you are caring for, you fight.

When you dream of being sustainable and being a top ethical supplier in Kenya, you fight.

Some days, the ugly days, you are crawling through mud, but you keep trekking forward because you know that one day you will be standing with ease again.

It takes grit. It takes courage. It takes moxie.

This week was the first time in a very long time that I did not want to face my team. I let fear creep in and cripple my soul and I had felt as if I had failed them and their families.

This week was the definition of ugly and I let every lie manifest inside me.

And then I remembered who I was, and everything changed. I remembered my why, I remembered that vulnerability displays strength and I started to crawl. I slowly ripped the lies away one by one and I began to pick myself up. 

This journey is hard. Even on the good days it is hard. I have talked to many founders, CEO’s and freelancers and they all have moments where they wish they could step away and have an 8-5 job. Crazy, huh?

You build something beautiful and in the building process it takes time, diligent effort and perseverance. It is in those hard and ugly days that we wish for normalcy, but what’s normal really?

So, until I completely get off on another tangent and post all together, I just have one thing to ask of you. 

Be gentle to everyone especially anyone in your life who you would categorize an entrepreneur. It might seem all peachy, but it’s hard mentally, physically, financially and spiritually.

This post is dedicated to all of those hustlers. Know you are not alone. And remember to give yourself grace, love and keep trekking. You got this.

Yours truly,
the ugly entrepreneur

the modern day entrepreneur

There are many days that I forget to look up. I push and push and push. I look forward, I plan, I strive for the next day and in the midst of it I forget to look up, stop and truly feel the wind touch my face. It is not that I am wanting the present moment to pass, nor am I merely surviving, but I am striving to always be a little better, to reach a little further and for the first time… today I am thinking that is not always the way.

I have mixed emotions because I am not struggling with contentment, I am struggling with the fact that I have limitations put on me from the world that distracts, destroys and dismisses impact. I am a challenger by nature and I am a force when you meet me. Some say I am intimidating, others say I am passionate or just really intense.

All I know is that I love to see good win. I love to see it grow. I love to see doors open so wide that people do not have to worry about it being shut before they make it there.

The reality is the world has limits. We do not have everything at our fingertips and it takes work. I have been hustling hard for over a decade and today it was if the spirit whispered in my ear, “jenny I got you.”

My first response, ‘I know’.

My second response, ‘do I really know?’

Many days seem impossible and then I close my eyes and wake up with a renewed energy, ready to embrace the new possibilities of tomorrow and keeping the chapters of shut doors as distant memories of yesterdays.

I look forward to the day when I will wake up and know there will [always] be an open door waiting for me and more importantly, I will truly have the time to look up and take it all in.

Until that day, you will find me in process, putting one foot in front of the other choosing to not give up, but to only stand strong and search for progression.

Yours truly,
the modern-day entrepreneur