I was made for this

I was made for this

It is quiet. I seriously can hear the clock ticking and I am not exactly sure what to do with my thoughts. I do not remember the last time it was this… quiet.

The husband took the two kiddos for a couple of hours and I am amazed at how a room can transform in seconds. In a moment, it can be filled with laughter (let us be honest, screams and crying too!) and then as soon as the door closes behind the pitter patter of feet, I can suddenly hear the slightest wind against the window.

I almost feel like it is unnatural to be alone. I am with my family all the time and when I am not with them, well there are friends or our boys or the women of Imani Collective… the list goes on. To be just me and myself is a bit of a phenomenon in my recent stage of life.

But here I am.

For the first time, in a pretty long time, sitting,
thinking and soaking it all in.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
And another breath.
And another.

During these restorative breaths, I reminisce on the morning.

I woke up this morning looking into my little boys’ eyes.
His eyes do all the talking.
They look right into your soul.
They know what to say when words do not need to be spoken.
And in a glance, I am reassured that he knows he is deeply loved.
And through his smiling eyes, I am reminded of God’s greatest gift to me,

HIS LOVE.

Motherhood is exhausting and there are moments I want to find the nearest pantry to hide in, but at the end of the day, I know I was made for this.

It just might take a couple of breaths and a glance from my boy to remind me I am worthy, I am strong and I am exactly where I need to be.

Banana Pancakes

Banana Pancakes

When I was a little girl, I remember waking up to the smell of fresh pancakes on the stovetop. My dad was an expert. Well to be honest, he still is.  He makes the biggest and most delicious pancakes in all of history. This is not a biased observation, this is just profound truth.

Every Saturday, he would make over a dozen pancakes. Not those mini, circular, wimpy pancakes that are bite size. No. He would fill the entire skillet with batter and come up with a concoction that was bigger than my face. It was pure magic.

To this day, it is still a mystery to me of how he flipped all those pancakes so perfectly.

The mystery will be remained unsolved because like I said, it was pure magic.

When I close my eyes, I can take myself back to our kitchen table. Little me surrounded by the smell of pancakes, syrup and bliss. It is one of those moments that will forever be ingrained in my memory.

Family. Laughter. Joy. Pancakes.

I am grateful for those moments that my parents created. They were simple, yet everlasting.

Over the last month, I have started having pancake Saturdays with my tiny tribe. It looks a little different than my childhood, but it is still just as sweet. Every Saturday morning, I take the bananas that are about to be “no good” and throw them into a mixture of yumminess.

Since we go through bananas very quickly in Kenya, it is the perfect use of making something almost not good into something pretty scrumptious!

Banana pancakes seems to be “our thing”.

I am not as magical as my dad, who made face size pancakes, but every week my pancakes get more circular, more perfectly brown, and the preparation and clean up seems to be less messy. I am mastering the art of pancake making and I am enjoying the

family, laughter, joy and of course… banana pancakes.