This is not an apology, but more of an acknowledgement that
I know I did not shine the brightest light yesterday.
I talked to my husband this morning about the feelings I was
going through. I laid in bed and cried a bit and then picked myself up and made
some coffee to bring my senses to some happy place. I feel like I have been
attacked this week. BIG TIME. I have been attacked spiritually, attacked passively,
and attacked verbally. It has come from strangers, friends, and from every
angle you could imagine.
Have you been there?
Do you know what I am talking about?
Where you think you have it all together and then BOOOOOOM.
Hits you like a ton of bricks and you do not know how to handle it all. I kept
things bottled and then you all got to see that bottle bubble over a bit
I am not apologizing because those are really my true
feelings, but I do want all of you to know that it was not handled with as much
grace or poise as it could have been, so for that I am greatly sorry.
As I started this week it was full of optimism, the
possibilities in my head were endless and all I thought was 100 people, we got
this. In return for $100, these 100 people have a chance to win a Kenya trip
and experience our culture and the place I call home, plus extra fun excursions
like a safari and snorkeling. I thought, ‘who wouldn’t want that?’
As of today, we have had 10 people enter the giveaway and
although I am extremely thankful for these beautiful people, I am also sitting
here in disbelief and greatly disappointed. First, I am disappointed in myself
for, I guess, being naïve and thinking it would be easy. I am also greatly
disappointed in people, in general.
This giveaway is NOT about the trip (that is a cool incentive), but this giveaway is being a part of something bigger than yourself and directly impacting a community of generations to come. This week was meant to shine a light on all that Imani Collective does in Kenya and the beautiful journey our artisans are on. Every day we have been sharing about our programs, we have been sharing testimonies, we have been saying, ‘hey! Look at what your donation goes to.’, but it seems that this is not enough.
I speak from my heart when I say I am disappointed in myself and others. We currently live in a society that loves to advocate about causes and share about what is happening around the world when it is convenient for them to do so. We also live in a society that defines change as advocacy ONLY. Talking about the problem is the first step to allow awareness to be formed, but we need people to be in the next step, directly involved, so that the problem can actually change. I find that people use their media platforms to be “involved” at an arms length away without being truly ‘in it’.
We also seem to not be able to handle extra material and it puts us at a halt to share because we can not fit it into our social media schedules or it does not curate well with our feeds. We also do not want to share because we don’t want to “look needy” and be asking for donations as it might confuse our following. AND instead of directly answering emails or messages, we choose to ignore the ask altogether. We tend to forget there is a human, a heart, a soul behind that ask…
Hello World! We need to start communicating with one another, we need to start standing up for each other, no matter if it is the right timing or not. We need to be real again and stop pretending we have it all together, when we are all one in the same.
Today, I AM SO IN AWE of people, of stigmas, of our society, of selfishness. And again, disappointed.
BUT I AM ALSO GRATEFUL.
I am grateful to everyone who I reached out to and they
immediately shared or followed up with me when they had not received the right
information. I thank you for sharing with your networks and also being directly
involved with the movement of 40for40.
My friend Nicole is doing something amazing! At a time in
her life when she felt as if there was nothing left of her, she decided to be
used in a mighty way. She chose 8 organizations to give back to and set a goal
to raise $40,000 for her 40th birthday.
What are you doing? Let us all be better together today.