Every Friday, I blog about entrepreneurship because I want to encourage those who are on the same journey. I want to remind you that you are not alone and just tell you what I have learned or maybe have found important along the way. Blogging is not an obligation; it is something I absolutely love to do. It brings me joy to write and so, I try to do it as often as I can. Yesterday, I did not write nor show up on this platform.
If you were anticipating the blog then I deeply apologize it was not there for you to enjoy, but here it is, one day later. I hope it encourages you or more so, challenges you.
If you do not get anything from this post, the one thing I want you to leave with today is to find rest and to remember, you are enough.
Yesterday, I took a day off. From everything. You can call it a day of rest, sabbath, mental health day or title it whatever you’d like. For me – it was simply – a day off. I knew I had one important meeting at 3PM, but everything else could be shifted and so I slept a good part of the morning and then I prayed, meditated, and spent many hours in the Word, the Truth, trying to combat lies within my head and guard my heart from slipping further away.
I chose the Word before the World, but not just for my morning routine – for the whole day.
I needed some intentional time to meet with God and with myself to get to the root of my heart. I have found that my biggest fear is not to fail, but my biggest fear is to let you down. Is to let me family down. Is to let Imani Collective down.
My biggest fear is rooted in letting you down all the people who love and believe in me because I am just not enough. Wow. I said it.
Yeah, even me – I fear being not enough.
I do not fear of what other people will think if I fail or even becoming a case study of what not to do. The root comes back to knowing all the people who have sacrificed so much time, money and effort and then it not being enough because I was not enough.
That is what I was working through yesterday. I sat with God for a long time and I let my emotions flow out of me and I just acknowledged what was and then, I combatted those lies with Truth. I opened scripture and sat with God, cried with God and rested with Him.
Is my heart still burdened? – Yes, it really is.
Am I working through some deep stuff? – Absolutely.
Am I still doubting and working through some fears? – Yes, and I believe this will be an ongoing process.
But, did I take a day? I did.
I finally stopped my schedule, opened my heart and took ownership of the rooted feelings.
I feel sometimes – in whatever season we are in or whatever we are pursuing – we can fill our schedules to the brim, so that we do not have to think about what is inevitably happening in our hearts. We fill our minds with other tasks, so that we do not wander to the question of “what are you truly feeling today?”
I wake up early every morning to meet with God and the last three mornings I have been showing up – reading and then leaving a blank journal. I have been scared to let my pen hit the paper and truly spill my heart to the Lord.
And the reality is – I serve a God who is a solid rock and even if I stand with shaky knees on that firm foundation, he has still got me.
My hope for you is to take a day. Find rest when you need it and take time to acknowledge the truth of your heart.
Let your heart and mind be renewed in spirit.
“…be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” (Romans 12:2)
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your cares on him, because he cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:6-7)
From the entrepreneur recovering daily from the fear of letting you down,