I always knew it was in my nature not to be a stay at home mom. In fact, it is not the reason
of not being a kid person or needing my space, it is more so the reality that being a stay at
home mom is extremely hard. For all of you out there that this is your full-time job then I
applaud you. This, in my opinion, is one of the hardest jobs the Lord ever created.
Let us take a moment of silence and give it up to all those hard-working stay at home mothers
and lift up some prayer for them because I know they are all needing some encouragement.
I would say the title of my blog is a bit controversial because again we are all working mothers,
but let me come at it from the perspective of working away from your children throughout the
day. I would fall in this category and today I want to combat some lies with truth as I have been
struggling through a few things.
This is probably one of my most intense years to date for me. I had to set the calendar out last
year to plan all my travel and be intentional of when I was home versus when I was gone. I had
to consider the sacrifices of time and also responsibility that my husband would take on.
I had to realize that in the midst of pursuing the opportunities the Lord has set before me, I
would be missing out on the little moments in my kids’ lives. The balance can be a struggle and
there can be a lot of guilt attached when not at home being the “mama” your kids need you to
be. So, today I do not necessarily have answers, but I have truth I want to share with you.
1. Guilt of being away
We all go through it and we all feel it, but we have to realize that putting ourselves
through this is not healthy. We have responsibilities and we have to stop beating
ourselves up for these things. We got to be a little gentler with our souls.
2. Guilt of still wanting “me time”
This is the hardest one for me especially if I have been away for a week for work and
then come home excited to be with my family, but am still craving “me time”. I am an
extrovert by nature – but there are many times I just want to be alone. I just want to
crawl into bed, catch up on sleep and read a good book. There is the tearing of my heart
– where all I want is the cuddles and laughter because that fills my soul. I am reminded
through the sweet kisses of my babies that these kids are mine and I am theirs. Then in
the exact same moment, I can feel exhaustion and the urge of just wanting to have a
time of isolation for 60 seconds.
3. Guilt of not doing it all right
This can come in all different areas of our motherhood – whether that is not following
the right trends, not giving them the right food, or not going to enough “kid friendly”
events. Whatever it is, the pressure of motherhood is high and Pinterest boards do not
make this any easier. I would say I am thankful I am raising my kids in Mombasa, Kenya
where we truly take on the meaning, “hakuna matata.” Nonetheless, the comparison
game in motherhood is vicious and we need to be careful to not let it dictate our
Mama’s, let us join together and stop feeling guilty. Stop letting these feelings creep in and
dictate our every decision. Let us grow in freedom, knowing that the Lord made us just enough
and guess what, at the end of the day – our kids are pretty resilient little human beings and love
us just as we are.
From the mother who feeds her kids too many chips + cake pops –