It is quiet. I seriously can hear the clock ticking and I am not exactly sure what to do with my thoughts. I do not remember the last time it was this… quiet.
The husband took the two kiddos for a couple of hours and I am amazed at how a room can transform in seconds. In a moment, it can be filled with laughter (let us be honest, screams and crying too!) and then as soon as the door closes behind the pitter patter of feet, I can suddenly hear the slightest wind against the window.
I almost feel like it is unnatural to be alone. I am with my family all the time and when I am not with them, well there are friends or our boys or the women of Imani Collective… the list goes on. To be just me and myself is a bit of a phenomenon in my recent stage of life.
But here I am.
For the first time, in a pretty long time, sitting,
thinking and soaking it all in.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
And another breath.
During these restorative breaths, I reminisce on the morning.
I woke up this morning looking into my little boys’ eyes.
His eyes do all the talking.
They look right into your soul.
They know what to say when words do not need to be spoken.
And in a glance, I am reassured that he knows he is deeply loved.
And through his smiling eyes, I am reminded of God’s greatest gift to me,
Motherhood is exhausting and there are moments I want to find the nearest pantry to hide in, but at the end of the day, I know I was made for this.
It just might take a couple of breaths and a glance from my boy to remind me I am worthy, I am strong and I am exactly where I need to be.