Listening to ‘her’

As I patiently wait to meet my baby girl (due date June 11), I find that I am fighting the urge to slow down. I feel that every day I have only a few more moments to get as much as I can finished before I have another little in my life. Then all in the same breath, I feel myself actually mentally slowing down and imagining what it will look like when she is in my arms. I cannot wait to look into her eyes and tell her how much she is loved. I cannot wait to show her the fierce love her mama and daddy have for her. I cannot wait to see her first smile and watch her grow into a beautiful woman one day.

Has that ever happened to you? Where you seem to be always in search of finding that balance.

I close my eyes at night wishing my first contraction would begin and then on the other side of my brain… I keep saying, but wait! I have one more thing to get done.

In these moments though, I fight towards what makes my body feel centered.

I am beyond blessed to be a member of Yellow Collective. I encourage you to check them out.

This month really resonated with my heart. It is Body.

As I read through the periodical for the month which is focused on taking ownership over, respect and love for our bodies, I came to a realization that I have not exactly been listening to her.

You know those moments that make you tense or create anxiety in your life? The moments where you look down at that page of ‘to do’ and do not know where to begin? The ‘friendships’ that you have in your life that take more than they give. You see where I am getting at? There are so many moments where I thought it has to be this way and after reflecting over my life through the words laid out in this periodical, I realized I am capable of creating these changes in my life.

I am capable. I am strong and I have the time to close my eyes and take the breaths needed.

I get to choose what my day will look like when I wake up in the morning.

So, what is creating this anxiety?

What is filling up my life,
but causing me to be completely empty at the end of the day?

And the big question, what am I doing to listen to ‘her’ (my body)?

What changes am I making to prepare for my baby girl and give her all that ‘fierce’ love and attention I intend to give?

Today. I am listening to her and seeking the freedom of my soul to just be.

Today, I am loving myself and giving myself the permission to let go of the toxic in my life. I am allowing myself to dream and rest all on the same written page. I am giving her better. And it starts today.

I am taking ownership to let go of all that keeps me astray from my heart, soul and mind.




Photography – Caryn Scanlan

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