At first it was not really a choice. I knew that my first child would be delivered in Kenya and I knew that the choice for a epidural was non existent. I prepared myself mentally for this before I even knew I was pregnant with Jadon. As I went through my 9 months of blissful pregnancy, I knew the day was quickly approaching where I would have to endure the inevitable… the baby that was growing inside me had only one way out and I was pretty nervous about it all. I could use other words to express my feelings, but I will keep it PG.
Jadon was late, I was induced and my labor was short, but it was intense. It is by far the worst pain I have ever endured in my life. The four and a half hours felt like they were never going to end and I remember in so many moments thinking, I am not strong enough.
Child birth is no joke.
As I reflect back on that moment that was almost two years ago and prepare for my second to enter the world in about 5 months, I wonder what my choices would have been if I were in the states.
Would I have decided to go natural?
Would I have used a birth center, midwife or hospital?
Would I have been overwhelmed by the choices around me that I would have let others choose for me?
To be honest, I am not exactly sure what I would have done. I believe the western world can complicate the simple and convolute our minds with “what is best”, etc.
All I knew is that I was pregnant. My home was in a third world and no matter what I was giving birth to my child. Period. There were not many choices in the matter. It would be natural just as billions of other mothers before me in history. I endured the truth, prepared my mind and instead of getting overwhelmed with the choices of cribs, changing tables, room decorations (because none of that exists here), I just anticipated my little boy to be in my arms.
Would I go back and change it if I could or had the choice?
Absolutely not. It was hard, but any good thing in life does not come easy.
I am excited for our growing family and beyond blessed to welcome our BABY GIRL naturally into this world.