There have been moments in my life that I have wasted, completely wasted, because I was sulking over false comparisons. Do you know what I am walking about?
The moments where you look tired even after a full night of sleep and then you glance down at your phone to see a notification from a friend. You quickly go over to their instagram story to see that they look flawless… again. You feel worse about yourself as you look in the mirror trying to cover up with makeup what you see as imperfect almost every day of your life. You are a victim of comparison and you let it sit with you all day, making you miss millions of joyous moments that you could have embraced wholeheartedly.
I used to say I never struggled with comparison, but I had been lying to myself.
In high school, I struggled with wanting the “thigh gap”, but because I was a volleyball player and loved my squats that thigh gap never was intended for me.
Then in University, I struggled with finding my calling. I gathered all the essentials of being the perfect Jesus follower. I purchased my first pair of chacos, gathered up my North Face backpack, travel size bible, wristbands that proclaimed Christ, Nalgene on my hip and hung out in my ENO hammock on the weekends. I wanted to fit the “call” and later found out I was trying way too hard to just fit the “look”.
Let’s be honest, I do still LOVE my chacos and hammock, but for other reasons besides just one upping other Christians on campus with my so called “christian gear”.
Then I moved to Kenya and quickly found out that comparison still happens even when your 9,000 miles away from your normal. I worked hard at spending time with the Lord, meditating in truth and knowing that I am worthy because I am made in the image of Christ alone.
As I am getting older, I am also experiencing physical changes and realizing that I do not look eighteen anymore, which also brings up lies as well as is the source of my comparison game.
I tell myself I am not as beautiful, not as talented, not as accomplished, not all “put together”, when actuality, that same person I am comparing myself to is staring in the mirror thinking the same thing about me.
We need to start realizing that we are only in this game with ourselves and embrace who we are.
My motto for this blog is ‘just do you.’
In my short life so far, this is what I have learned.
- Only YOU. There is only one of you and one of me. Meaning we are completely unique from one another. What I have, you might not have and what skills you acquire, I might never understand how to do. All of it is okay. We are unique and we are our own self. AND we have to own that. Comparison will suck our time, days and years away from us. We have to ‘just do you’
- Embrace YOU. Every part of our being is beautiful, so we need to embrace ourselves and love who we are. We need to work on our inner self just as much as we care about how our outer self is perceived by the world. We need to meditate on truth, breathe in love and know we are whole, worthy of what life brings our way.
- Love YOU. I believe this is easier said than done because we are our biggest critic, but love yourself. Know we are human and make mistakes. Know we are made up of imperfections and know that those imperfections make something glorious. Know one is perfect, so stop trying to be that. Love you and love all your imperfections that define your story and share your beauty with the world.
Let us stop this comparison game and focus on a healthier way of living by embracing ourselves fully. Give yourself some self love today because you deserve it.